Oneshots of Doom
by ShadowWarrior85
Summary: I've noticed a distinct lack of oneshot collections in this fandom so I decided I'd start one. Just a few glimpses into the lives of our favorite characters. Most of these take place after the show. Oh, and there will most likely be ZaGr. You have been warned. Rated T cause I'm paranoid.
1. Press Enter

**A/N: This little plot bunny has been bugging me for awhile so I finally decided to write it. Are there parts I'm really proud of? Yes. Are there parts that make me wanna curl up in a ball and never write again? Hell yes. That's just the way it goes. Also I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors; proofreading is not my strong suit. Enjoy. :-)**

Disclaimer: I wouldn't be writing this if I owned Invader Zim.

Dib stared at the screen before him, easily deciphering the blocky irken text. Years of research and study had lead to this moment. It had taken many sleepless nights and several cans of energy drink, but he'd finally broke through the firewalls. All he had to do now was follow through with it.

The incident with Zim's Pak in seventh grade had got him thinking. The Pak was an Irken's life source. If one could successfully hack it, it would be child's play to shut off a few essential functions and Boom! Bye bye alien menace!

After countless hours of study, he'd finally managed to hack into the device. All it would take was a few simple keystrokes to stop his heart. Just a couple clicks of the mouse to rid the earth of the alien scum. All he had to do was press enter.

The question now was would he. Or, more accurately, could he?

It would one to hand Zim over to the authorities and let them handle it. It was entirely different to actually kill him himself. And to do it remotely, from behind a computer screen... it felt wrong.

'He's an alien. It's not as though he's a real person. Besides, if you don't, he just might succeed in his sick, twisted mission. Can you really say you'd take that risk?'

But he is a person. He has feelings and fears and dreams. He pretends he doesn't, and if you asked, he'd deny it. But I know better. When I had his PAK on, I saw it all. Every thought, every dream, every hope, everything . Could I really bring myself to destroy it?

'You're being ridiculous! Kill him already! It's for the fate of all mankind!'

But... to do it this way almost seems like cowardice. If it were in self defence, or at least face to face, I might be able to live with it. But I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I killed him in cold blood like this. I... I just can't. I won't.

Sighing, Dib closed the program.

He wouldn't do it. Not unless Zim gave him a reason to.

**A/N: Please review and tell me how I can improve in a kind and respectful manner. Flamers shall NOT be tolerated.**


	2. Adventures in GIR-sitting

**A/N: I LIVE! My muses have finally decided to be helpful again, so I can finally update. This is kinda experimental, I'm new to comedy. Not my best work, but over all I'm happy with it.**

**Disclaimer: Invader Zim doesn't belong to me, trust me, you'd know if it did.**

It started out just like any other Saturday for Dib. Get up, eat, attempt to smooth down his monster of a cowlick, fail miserably, go watch Mysterious Mysteries reruns. It wasn't until about halfway through his favorite episode that the doorbell rang.

Begrudgingly, the not-yet-fully-conscious teen made his way to the door, peering through the peephole to see who it was. Seeing no one, he opened the door, expecting a package. Instead, a small, silver someone hit him right in the legs, nearly knocking him down.

"Gah! What the...!" Looking down, he saw GIR, clinging to his leg, a silly grin on his face.

"GIR? What are you doing here?" The little robot let go, and handed him a small scrap of paper, looking as though he'd just remembered somthing.

"Mastah said to give you this." He said. Curious, Dib took it. Scrawled across it in childish, angular writing, was a letter.

_ Dear Dib-stink,_

_ I am leaving your filthy planet for two weeks. Because I value my sanity, I have opted to leave GIR here. As it would be stupid to let him stay at the base unsupervised, I have decided to leave him with you because, A) For some bizarre reason, He's taken a liking to you, and B) I knew it would annoy you. Be sure to keep him occupied, he screams like a banshee if he gets bored. _

_ \- Zim _

_P.S: Don't even try to hack his system, as it is far to advanced for your pathetic mind to comprehend (and even if it wasn't, he's programmed to self-destruct in just such a situation). I wouldn't try and ditch him either, he's got an advanced guidance system and will find you no matter where you are. _

Below the letter was a picture, a small alien sticking it's tongue out, clearly drawn by Zim himself.

Dib looked up,only to find Gir had run off. Upon searching the house frantically, He found him perched on the kitchen counter and juggling a suspiciously familiar game console.

"GIR no! That's...!

SMASH!

Just he spoke, the Gameslave 3 slipped from GIR's grip and shattered on the floor.

"DIB!"

Oh shit. His sister was gonna kill him. Sure enough, Dib turned to see Gaz standing in the doorway seething, as though she had materialized from thin air.

Within two seconds, Dib was out the window, cowering behind a bush.

"I'M GONNA FIND YOU DIB! AND WHEN I DO, YOU'LL WISH YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!"

The teen ducked lower to avoid being seen as his sister ran past in the wrong direction. As her screamed threats faded into the distance, Dib stared up at the sky, knowing that somewhere above him, a certain green alien was laughing his ass off. This would the worse two weeks of his life.

**A/N: Well there ya go. I'll likely do a part 2 eventually, maybe more if this one gets a good reaction. Review, follow, favorite and all that good stuff. You know my policy towards flames, so don't do that, ok?**


End file.
